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Modesty Survey - TheRebelution
TheRebelution has launched The Modesty Survey to give Christian girls an idea of what “turns guys on” so girls can adjust their attire so not to cause guys to stumble.
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Modesty Survey Launched | Modesty Petition | Modesty Survey Results Launched
10 Jan 2007 Brian Purkiss
I applaud the efforts of the people at The Rebelution, but it’s always important to note that a girl can wear anything she wants and it’ll still be the guy’s fault for lusting after her. That doesn’t mean that girl’s SHOULD wear anything they want, but how far are they going to go? There will always be someone out there that will have impure thoughts about a girl even if she is dressed very modestly. Still, the survey should give girls some guidelines to do their best to help us guys not stumble.
Interesting point Freshman.
Very true. But a lot of how the guys think also has to do with how the girl acts and how she holds herself, basically, how she uses her body to get attention. A girl dressed very modestly, yet acting quite the opposite can still raise those thoughts in guys head.
Or….am I completely crazy? I know I’m a girl, and so I’m not coming from a guy’s perspective, but this makes sense…right?
Yes Lady, that does make sense. How a girl acts can make as much a difference as how she dresses.
The Modesty Survey adresses that as well - somewhat briefly, but it addresses that nonetheless.
I hope this doesnt sound rude or anything, and i guess Im repeating what Freshman said, but there is only so much a girl can do. What a guy thinks, how he acts around her, and how he treats her can help a girl be “modest,” if you will, just as well as how she dresses. Is the survey helping guys or girls, btw? I can see guys taking it to help girls, but in the end, the guys are usually the ones who stumble (it can happen to girls too, I know…) So this modesty survey is great and all, but I’m still confused on what its accomplishing….maybe I missed something. Knowing me, I probably did….
Ok, here’s the 411. The girls ask questions to the guys about modesty to see what makes a guy stumble so that we can help y’all out by dressing more modestly. Comprende? yay!
Yeah, but I still don’t understand how this will help guys not stumble. Also, it sounds a little conceited (sp?). It sounds like the girls only dress more modestly to help guys, and guys are the only ones with the problem. Seems to me that asking guys what turns them on for girls to learn from is the wrong approach to helping girls dress modestly and guys not be tempted by that. What if some girl decides to use that in the negative way, and ends up dressing exactly like the guy wants. I know this will probably not happen, or if it does, will be an isolated incident, it is still another concern. I guess the best way to say it is that is probably the wrong approach.
Well, basically, we don’t know exactly what turns y’all on. Yeah, some things are obvious, but if you’re not going to tell us, we have to ask. We don’t want to cause our Christian brothers to stumble. And no, you aren’t the only ones with a problem, but you’re wired in a way (as far as I know) that is more closely connected with how we dress. Girls aren’t as visual. But we still do have some issues with how guys dress/act. And yes, some girls have a problem with wanting to dress immodestly. Anyway, the girls mostly reading this forum aren’t gonna turn around and dress like that. And even if they do, add them to the millions. But most will try to help y’all and your struggle with purity.
Ok, I see where you are coming from. But it seems like it would be better to ask us what we want to see in a Christian girl, or what we look for in a future wife. Not what we think is hot. Its like taking a survey of what foods people don’t like, so they can better serve their customers. Seems almost impractical. But I guess you are girls and we’ll never understand exactly how you work. I’ll be happy to take the survey to help yall (and somehow indirectly help myself….hmmm) but I prolly wont be much help. Maybe we should ask girls what they hate about guys so we won’t do those things. Like burping, and not listening and stuff. Sure it will tell me what not to do, but all it really is is girls asking guys not to do those things. Or girls trying to make the guy better? Can you see it from my perspective?
Yes, a few girls asked what y’all want in a future wife, and some of y’all (guys) said modesty. Thats why we need to know what y’all mean by that. Comprende? yay! And do you really want a list of what we don’t like??? bring it!
Yes, but doing stuff you don’t like us to do is not a stumbling block for you….like dressing immodestly is for guys usually. But like i said, its like saying “here’s what we think is hot, now don’t do it…” Its a list of don’ts basically. thats usually not how it works….idk.
Well, *cough* sometimes what guys do is a stumbling block. There is also a discussion about that on the rebelution. And its not all a list of don’ts…. there are questions such as… is (blank) modest? and if the guys answer yes, kudos to us girls who do that.
Well, we could go on and on about this. I guess it helps girls and guys to always keep modesty in the front of their minds before they look over their shoulder or walk out of the house with some slinky dress….I’m willing to help ya’ll so that it helps me….but it just seems there are better ways to do this than a ‘modesty survey.’ Well, I’m out. Peace.
Well, thanks for willing to help us, and there are other ways besides a modesty survey, but name a few. Nothing comes to mind. ?? have any ideas?
You two (Allison and MrThreatToSociety) have made some good points.
Guys themselves are (probably) the biggest danger to themselves. Even if girls dress and act modestly, guys will be able to… well… um… “turn themselves on.” Um… I guess… At any rate…
The point of the modesty survey is (like Allison said) to give girls an idea of what “turns guys on.” That way girls can adjust their attire to help guys out. Ultimately it’s up to the guys - so no matter what a girl does, guys could still find a way if they wanted. (Example: internet) However, for the guys who are trying to keep their mind pure, girls who dress modestly could help them out.
Ok, but guys are still portayed as the only ones with the real problem. Well, I understand this survey only addresses that certain issue, so yeah, I guess that’s legitimate. Still, guys seem to be the beast and the girls are the angels….i dont know.
Ok…here are a few of my thoughts on this. They probably seem a bit disjointed, so I’m sorry, but maybe they’ll bring up some discussion points.
Let me put this in a real-life situation: I’m going to prom with a Christian guy friend of mine, strictly as friends(which has no bearing on the rest of what I’m about to say, but gives a context). I don’t think the same way as he does, obviously, because I’m a girl. But because I want to protect him as much as possible from stumbling or being distracted by what I’m wearing that night, I want to know what is attractive and cute and what edges into suggestive. There will be enough girls there to be distractions without me unintentionally being one more. *I want to know what is suggestive so I can avoid it…specifically.* So at some point I’ll ask him what I need to avoid so we can both have fun and look good without concerns on either side.
Christian girls in particular are taught…”be modest!!!!!!”…ok..so put that in the frame of real life and you have tons of girls who question everything they put on. “does this look suggestive? is this too tight? how tight is too tight?”..on and on the questions go. We have no definite reference point unless we take guys with us to see everything we think about wearing; which is a highly unrealistic idea for some of us. Girls are really and truly clueless about most dress issues unless we’re told specifically what to avoid. We know the whole “not low cut, not too tight, not too short” routine, but how does that specifically play out in real life? It seems to me that the rebelution is trying to answer these questions for us…which is, from my viewpoint, readily welcomed.
True, guys have a responsibility in this dress issue too..a *huge* responsibility. But we, as girls and representatives of Christ, also have a responsibility. I don’t have a brother, but I have a very close guy friend of mine who’s like a brother to me; I know that there are TONS of opportunities for him to stumble by just walking down the hall at school or driving down the highway. So I simply want to know what I can do to become a refuge, in a sense, for his eyes. A place he can look without constantly having to fight the thoughts coming in his head. Obviously, he has the responsibility to not let his mind go where it could, even if I am dressed modestly, but I don’t control that. All I can control is what I wear and how I carry myself. Anything that helps me do that will be applauded.
Very good point D’Nae. I think you hit the nail on the head.
hey D’Nae. I agree totally. You probably said it better so MrThreat could understand it. thanks
Very well put, D’Nae. I definitely agree.
But I would like to adress what MrThreatToSociety said about the guys being “beasts” and the girls being “angels.” While that is how it appears in this area, it’s not wholey correct. True, we girls don’t tend to stumble as much in the area of how guys dress, but we do somewhat. However, the areas where we stumble more is with how guys act. Like what they say, how they say it, how they carry themselves, stuff more in the.. mental realm than what we actually see. Maybe the other girls can help me out in putting that in better words…
To Freshman and MrThreatToSociety: Carried to a natural conclusion, you lay the idea that lust is completely, 100% the man’s fault.
I hereby suggest that during the summer months all women be naked, for their own comfort. After all, lust is our fault, not theirs. Why inhibit them?
If you are against that idea, then you must admit that women take some of the responsibility for modesty. The entire idea is that some things are *provocative* - they provoke impure thoughts. My mind is not fully renewed yet. If it was, I could look at a woman dressed in anything and not think inappropriately. But here’s the deal - we’re not there yet.
Some one tell me the purpose of locks… are they to keep out thieves, or honest people? The answer is honest people! Thieves steal. It’s what they do. They *break* locks. Locks keep honest people honest. When nobody’s around and the temptation comes to steal, if there’s a lock, the honest man remains honest.
The way a woman dresses is exactly the same. If you’re a thief, a pervert… you’ll get what you want, visually, out of a woman no matter how she’s dressed. But sometimes, the way a woman dresses *provokes* that in a man. Modesty to keep pure men pure. And these lovely young women want to know how best to do that. Keep their honest men, honest.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Hm… Very interesting Andrew.
Nice point Andrew.
Well, The Rebelution has launched the Modesty Petition… Hm… That’s all I can think of…
Consider this. The girls who want to provoke guys by how they dress seem to know exactly how to dress to accomplish their goal.